Divorce Agreement ~ Something to think about.

[projectmopar]

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and
coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live
with.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can
hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for,
I'll vote for him!

__________________________________________________ __

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
regressives, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I
want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the
sake of future generations; but sadly, this relationship has clearly run
its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree
on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We
can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.

Here is a model separation agreement:


1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass,
each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and
disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops,
the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with
wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are,
however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move
all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC, PBS and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies
or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them
security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will
no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors.

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not
a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and
"The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine",
"I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya,"
or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name
and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when
you call our country.